LORA KELLER
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Showing Up

7/26/2018

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“I was a slightly overweight, spiky-fringed, rat's-tailed '80s girl who was just showing up. That's all I've ever really done to get here, just kept showing up. Even when I didn't want to. That's what I do.” Sia, the Australian musician who put out five discs before one of her singles showed up on US Billboard’s Hot 100. And in the no. 8 position to boot.
 

Showing up even when she didn’t want to, that’s what Sia does. We’re similar in that we always show up. But I never even think of not showing up. To work. To therapy. To marriage.
 
After college, my first boss told me showing up is the key to success. I was shocked and imagined what could happen if I worked hard and had some talent. I ended up running his New York office.
 
After several years of tortured but successful psychotherapy, I felt healthy enough to take a break. My therapist congratulated me on showing up. Again, shock. “A lot of people don’t stick with therapy,” she said. “It’s excruciating.”
 
I showed up for 30 years of marriage. I admit sometimes I shut down just like I shut down on the job or in therapy. And I stayed. Until pain shunted me out.
 
Now, I have an even more difficult role. Showing up, just for me.

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